eatingchaos

February 12, 2008

a moment

there are days i am convinced my friends would lay down their life for me. the fact that i am worth such fierce loyalty, is powerful.

posted by nyx at 4:35 PM | comments (12)

February 10, 2008

all my bags are (un)packed....

my last night at home. all came out to play - my friends, my brother and his girlfriend, a cousin and an aunt. we were at a lounge, a revolving restaurant. the ambiance was mellow and soft. the city that i love spun below us.

our laughter was so loud it become invasive - filling up empty spaces, taking over the pub. a night so rich with merriment always makes it harder to leave the next day. and here i am, hours away from my flight, staring at the stuff i have yet to pack.

my visit home was filled with the usuals - concerned family members who berate me for coming home only once a year, the few close friends whom i try to see as much as possible while i'm back, my beloved brother whose presence i miss constantly while i'm away.

maybe i'll make another visit home this year.

i've been pampered by my friends. they've been chauffeuring me around, and the roads of kk has changed. i dont think i know how to navigate my way without getting confused. as i stepped down from the car yesterday, while bidding my bestest buddies goodbye - i wondered how many times i'll see them again in the coming year.

i then realised that my grandparents hold that very same thought for me.

posted by nyx at 7:15 AM | comments (1)

February 8, 2008

happy chinese new year!

typing this really quickly while waiting for my family members to get ready. we're heading back to my mum's hometown today, and i will be there all day - gambling, eating, gossiping. i will break away from all that in the afternoon - my uncle heads a lion dance troupe, and i like trailing them from house to house, with my camera.

its too bright and too hot. every morning i get shocked by the brightness of the sun. i've been eating too much - and it really isn't chinese new year if you're not stuffed to the max with food.

i grew up getting to know many interesting animals in my grandfather's house. he loves hunting. and he always comes back with weird pets. mostly because he shot the mother and found the babies. this year it was a flying fox. an awfully adorable, affectionate flying fox! i love eating their meat which has a very intense gamey taste. but after bonding with this little fellow, i no longer can eat them.

time to go, gotta dash. happy chinese new year all!

posted by nyx at 8:38 AM | comments (2)

February 5, 2008

i'm home but hardly at home

in my last post i forgot to mention the night orchestra - serenades from the cicadas around my house. mmmm.

i only have the mornings to myself. come lunch, the four of us would roam around town, ticking off the food-to-eat-back-home list. afternoons would be spent in some cafes, whiling the time away in each other's company, talking, reading, laughing, planning for the next day. dinner - another food scramble. then home for a quick shower. the nights are dedicated to drinking.

life of a regular social butterfly.

it's hot in kk. the brilliance of the sun is overwhelming. the heat gets into your bones. everything seems so illuminated, and intense. i need the quiet early mornings to take this in before the swirl of the day sweeps me up.

speaking of which, here comes my ride. gotta dash!

posted by nyx at 12:31 PM | comments (1)

February 3, 2008

home sweet home

home is always the best. there are simple, quiet things that i miss, the intangibles that are absent in my current manic city life. things like having the sunlight on your face as you're showering. my bathroom at home, has a little window right above the shower head. as i tilt my face up, eyes closed, rinsing the shampoo off, i can feel the light play its little dance upon my eyelids.

waking up to proper birdsongs - melodic twitterings. not the city's pigeons or crows, but magpies, burung pipit, some yellow breasted bird, the polite black and white bird.

the shock of green everytime i step out of my bedroom. green leaves, green trees, green grass, green green green. the blueness of the skies. the vivid sunsets.

the stars at night.

i have ten days of this.

posted by nyx at 11:33 AM | comments (1)

January 17, 2008

how cool is shipment tracking @ dhl.com.my

posted by nyx at 9:35 AM | comments (3)

January 10, 2008

new passion

i am completely and utterly addicted to lo-fi toy cameras. yes - i am back to film photography. i am absolutely in love with the surprise it gives me, the anticipation of an undeveloped film and the delightful imperfection in the images produced by these toy cameras. my passion in photography has revived. and i am fooling around with lomo cameras.

what i love is the philosophy behind it. "bad photography" becomes art. light leaks, distortion, unrealistic colours, soft focus, vignetting - bring it on. be vibrant! shoot without thinking! capture life in motion. use expired film! take risks! embrace the unexpected!

each roll of film holds multiple gasps and oh-my-gawd moments. i love it! its no longer about what you see, its about what you feel. stop rationalizing, start feeling.

posted by nyx at 11:41 AM | comments (1)

January 7, 2008

you know you got bitten by the travel bug BAD when....

flying back kk for ten days during chinese new year. i found myself thinking whether i should purchase travel insurance....then it hit me. i am going HOME.

posted by nyx at 3:38 PM | comments (4)

January 4, 2008

a snippet of conversation

her : what about you, are you like your parents?
me : well...i am a bit of both, i think
her : how so?
me : well.....i tell jokes like my dad, and laugh like my mum, sometimes
her : hey that's a good combi, coz am sure your dad tells a lot of jokes, then your mum laughs

posted by nyx at 8:47 AM | comments (1)

January 1, 2008

the first 2008 entry

why do so many people begin the year intoxicated? :D

as the clock struck midnight we were wild - screaming, dancing, hugging and ready to take on 2008. i looked at my friends - the people that i celebrate almost any and every occasion with. we've stuck by each other for a good seven years. separately we're pretty normal, but together - we're just dysfunctional, loud, offensive and lewd. this works for us. and having them validates some goodness in me. it feels like i'm worth something, having people who will stick by me no matter what. chosen family.

my first post for this year shall be dedicated to you all - you know who you are. a toast - may whatever mojo that keeps us together continue keeping us together.

posted by nyx at 9:27 PM | comments (3)

December 31, 2007

summing up 2007

i find no better way to sum my year up than through my own writings. so ladies and gentleman, here it is:

wrote up a chinese new year lion dance series (which continues to attract a lot of hits, someone even linked me up at wiki.

• the origin of chinese lion dance
  
• the different types of lions in chinese lion dance
  
• the etiquette of lion dancing

i talked about turtle conservation.

made travel plans for burma but changed to nepal instead.

splurged on phantom of the opera and came back totally invigorated.

i wrote about how packing satisfies something in me and headed off to chiang mai for a songkran festival (and had a wild time!!).

flew off to nepal and fell devastatingly in love with it.

i turned 30.

popped into bali for a quick trip.

attended the rainforest world music festival's 10th year anniversary.

appeared in the local paper - an entire page! revived my love for photography and experimented with some bokeh techniques.

created three travelogues - chiang mai, nepal and bali.

for the first time, my reading diet was entirely non-fiction (apart from murakami), largely travel literature.

in retrospect, i did have quite a year....:) 2007 was very good for the heart.

happy new year everyone :)

posted by nyx at 3:11 PM | comments (4)

December 29, 2007

have you ever paused to consider...

that the creator of this universe might not be the same being who created us/creatures/life?

consider the facts - the universe is 13 billion years old. the earth, and the sun is 4.5 billion years old. complex animals (versus simple organisms which appeared 580 million years ago) emerged 530 million years ago. dinosaurs came about only 230 million years ago. primitive humans 2.5 million years ago and modern humans 200 thousand years ago.

consider the gap between billions and millions of years. entertain the possibility. acknowledge that there is a slight chance it could be true. let this thought stretch your mind, even if it's not the truth - see how far the idea brings you.

that is my new year gift to you - a different perspective.

posted by nyx at 10:33 AM | comments (0)

December 24, 2007

xmas eve

a very strange lull has taken over the space where my urge to write existed. i am not used to it, but i'm unperturbed - and that may be the problem.

it's christmas eve. the minutes are trickling by, and the office feels foreign - very removed from all the anticipation of today. the sound of the fax machine, the buzz of monitors, the clicky clack of keyboards - they all insult the buoyant festive mood that have infected my insides.

celebrating with a big group this year - a dozen people. plus a cat and a dog. a dozen people, a dozen gifts. can't wait! i spent the last few days meticulously cutting snowflakes to decorate where we're spending christmas. went over yesterday and installed the flakes on the walls. it looks gorgeous, the house now looks the part - very in the mood.

we've stocked the place up with booze and silly games, everyone's bringing food, someone's baking a chocolate cake. the host jammed a xmas tree in one corner, the dog will be barking hyper berserk with so many new friends. i've burned six party compilation - from emo moody xmas songs to flamboyant disco tunes. almost all the people i want to be with during christmas will be there. so it looks like we're up for some good times tonight.

merry christmas all :)

(half the xmas presents)

(snowflakes!)

posted by nyx at 9:55 AM | comments (2)

December 9, 2007

planet earth

sometimes, when i look at images of earth - i see how varied it is in its beauty, and we are part of it, living and breathing in it. i wonder - why is there space for sadness?

posted by nyx at 8:40 PM | comments (5)

November 27, 2007

inspiration at midnight

took this last nite, on a whim, when i stumbled on some interesting heart bokeh techniques on flickr. wanted to improve myself photography wise, and develop my edge.

the exhibition in december is off. i was reluctant to share this news, until now. nikon is postponing the date, changing the theme, and the venue. at this moment nothing has been set, and we, the exhibitors, are hanging on a very thin thread of hope. and that is all i'm going to say about it today.

i am going to enjoy december. i am going to relish the end of this year because it has been a good year, a very different year. i am going to wonder what 2008 has in store for me, and whether the current lightness of my being will prevail.

i am going to slow december down a notch, and stretch each day a little longer, because i am feeling it - that it's great to be alive.

posted by nyx at 10:37 AM | comments (1)

November 10, 2007

tick tock tick tock

november has been crazy so far - urgent work piling up, nikon side project culminating soon, and lots more stuff going on. am frazzled, but relishing every moment. the intensity makes me feel alive and am loving it.

november will fly by in a woosh and before you know it, its 2008! hopefully things will slow down next month, i want to take in this year and recount it slowly. its been such a year, and so different. in a good way.

more of that end-of-the-year pondering stuff next month! take care peeps, enjoy the ride while you're riding it. don't look back and regret. ciao!

posted by nyx at 7:10 PM | comments (0)

October 31, 2007

what's in my head, of late

dateline for the photography project approaches. it's all i can think of at the moment. i have to shoot in RAW format, something i've never done before and am uncertain of how to process it, or how it'll turn out.

when it comes to shooting for an exhibition - there is just no room for uncertainty. being an amateur is no excuse.

in comes adobe photoshop lightroom. i've been toying with it, learning how to post process pictures and testing the capabilities of this software. so far - i LOVE it. download the trial - you get to use it free for 30 days.

am jumping between being mildly satisfied with the pics i've taken, to hating them all. the thing is this - i have a concept in my head. i love the concept in my head. but am limited by my measly equipment. i need a proper macro lense. which costs a bomb. so am doing something crazy - stacking THREE close up filters onto my lense and crossing my fingers, hoping that that doesnt compromise the quality of my pics.

i only thought this up two days ago, as i was finalising my pics the LAST FINAL round (or so i thought, tee hee). i think i have one last afternoon to shoot - this saturday. hopefully i can get some good ones that satisfies me.

why do good ideas only drop at the last possible minute?

i know this post isn't making much sense, am just ranting because i want to.

later peeps! might post a pic as a teaser preview to tempt you to come to the exhibition on dec 1 & 2 !!

posted by nyx at 9:08 PM | comments (11)

October 25, 2007

rancangan tergendala

eatingchaos was down the last few days - much apologies. now that all bills are paid, and webspace doubled - we can keep on keeping on.

your patience is very much appreciated :)

posted by nyx at 4:20 PM | comments (3)

October 18, 2007

a quick one

what i've been up to lately:

• facebooking
  
• conceptualising a theme for photography side project
  
• playing with bubbles
  
• reading rumi
  
• keeping an eye on burma
  
• strum-singing
  
• visiting semi-wild places for inspiration
  
• training the eye with creative visuals
  
• listening to malay songs on a loop (sheila on 7, samsons, peterpan, estranged)
  
• enjoying two excellent books - maximum city and three sheets to the wind
  
• laughing at some sick humour
  

posted by nyx at 9:35 AM | comments (2)

September 27, 2007

article in the sun

i've kept a pretty low profile about my little photography project that began roughly two months ago. the article is just the beginning, lots of interesting things unfolding next and i'm psyched and really looking forward to the next few months! here's a pdf version of the article.

posted by nyx at 11:04 PM | comments (16)

September 8, 2007

september update

the urge to write is quite a mercurial thing. it comes, it goes, it demands and it hides. i give free reign to this energy, allowing it to morph however it please, always aware that it's an integral part of me.

i haven't been writing much of late, but i've been thinking about it a lot. writing will remain the best way i can express myself, though it may be in spurts instead of a steady stream.

eatingchaos' regular visitors have been returning, eventhough i'm inconsistent with updates. i thank you :)

doubt not that i'll be back.

p/s: on a more personal mode - all is better than well.

posted by nyx at 7:26 AM | comments (7)

August 25, 2007

saturday morn drive

heavy was the morning air with the promise of rain, even the wind sang the same tune. the city was gray, chilly - and this was oddly invigorating. kept the windows down, blasted the music, tore through the streets with my need for speed, screamsinging with my hair wildly encroaching my vision.

little things like this make up for having to work on saturdays.

posted by nyx at 9:18 AM | comments (2)

August 24, 2007

the worst kl jam ever

left work at 6 on the dot. by 8 - i was still a stone's throw away from my office. the traffic jam was horrific. my only consolation was that i could catch up on my reading. by 9 i was home, and the book i began at 6pm was already finished.

posted by nyx at 7:15 AM | comments (2)

August 22, 2007

headlines

• China Bans Reincarnation
• China To Regulate Reincarnation
• China tells living Buddhas to obtain permission before they reincarnate
• China: Monks must get OK to be reincarnated

the ban only serves to show how desperate China is, to be able to think up of a measure so absurd. still - good for a laugh.

posted by nyx at 8:52 AM | comments (1)

August 11, 2007

not all who wander are lost

updates have been scarce, but i'm still alive and well. i'm reinventing my inner voice, allowing my soul to stretch as wide as it wants and rejuvenating the words inside my head.

thank you for always returning :)

posted by nyx at 7:45 AM | comments (5)

July 16, 2007

i'm back

right now, the only thing filling up my soul are the laments of huun huur tu - the nomadic band from tuva, central asia. their music brought skies into my soul and stretched my being as wide as the horizon. it made my hungry - sparked an irrational desire to tear away from all that is familiar, and throw myself out there. horse riding in the desert, dreadlocking my hair then shaving bald, getting a tattoo sleeve, riding on top of trains, sleeping under stars, singing singing singing - anything that comes naturally to my soul.

posted by nyx at 7:41 PM | comments (5)

May 21, 2007

handmade card

can't remember the last time i got a handmade card :) creative innit?

posted by nyx at 8:11 PM | comments (18)

May 20, 2007

unperturbedly thirty

my birthday cake last night, the waitress approached our table with the cake asking "who is the grandmother?" giggles!!!!

i've finally stepped into the scary age boundary - the big three o, moving towards "middle age".

but i dont feel aged at all, in fact - i've never been happier. the uncertainties that cloaked my eyes, the dark rage that gripped my core and all the insecurities that buzzed in various corners of my soul, the bitterness - all have been stripped away. i am finally free. my heart is clear and open, and i have laughter in my life, everyday.

i still have the same curiosities - plus the means the sate them. i have good people in my life, whom i appreciate deeply, and i am blessed with friends who'll stick around what come may. my family, as always, is steady as a rock, and very encouraging of my nomadic tendencies - which is intensifying as we speak. i will be travelling much harder, and rougher.

i have no issues being single, and thirty - a state that might gnaw at the core of most females. i am just happy being happy, and grateful for all good things that i've gathered into my life so far.

most of all - i feel like a good person.

it's a damn good feeling to have, and an immensely liberating phase to be in. if this is what it means to be thirty, then bring it on.

posted by nyx at 9:46 AM | comments (15)

May 8, 2007

struck by this quote again

that i lived more bravely,
and loved more deeply.

- a backpacker -

posted by nyx at 9:30 PM | comments (5)

April 22, 2007

chiang mai travelogue

whipped up a real quick simple travelogue for chiang mai. you can see it here!

enjoy :)

posted by nyx at 9:28 PM | comments (5)

April 21, 2007

project wifi

figured it was high time to wifi my apartment up - my mum hates clutter and snaking wires, and my dad wants to bring back his notebook from work periodically.

there are two computers at home - one mine, another for my parents. instead of lugging them both to lowyat, i bravely decided to install the PCI wifi network cards myself.

popped into lowyat and bought them, as well as a wifi router. spent RM345. worth it - it's after all, Project Make Parents Happy, haha

everything was going well with the installation on my puter, the only snag was configuring the router to dial out. a quick call to streamyx hotline solved that.

next - my parents computer. the pci slot just wouldn't detect the card! i tried exasperatedly, i removed the card from my puter and slotted into theirs, tried both cards on my computer, tried all three PCI slots on their computer, reinstalled the driver and uninstalled, disabled the previous lan settings. everything!

finally, out of frustration, i decided to really SHOVE the card into the slot and what d'ya know - it went in deeper. i didn't push hard enough was the problem!!!!!!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

but it's all good now :) our house has wireless goodness and my parents are happy parents. yay!

posted by nyx at 6:47 PM | comments (2)

saturday morning conversations are like this

• S • says:
did i tell u bout the joke of noah

ju says:
NO
*sits n listen*

• S • says:
okay here goes
one day, god summoned noah again
he asked noah "build me another ark"
this time i want it to be filled with fishes
only fish, no other animal
and i want it to be 10 storeys high
noah, scratching his head, confused, asked god, but why
god replied, "just build it first, i will tell u later"
so noah, asked god again, so god, u want an ark, check!
u want it filled with fishes?
yes! and it must be 10 storeys high
*note that building in progress
yes!
noah asked, But why??
god replied
cos i want a 10 storey carp-ark!

posted by nyx at 8:53 AM | comments (7)

April 1, 2007

it's april!

april beckons! in hardly a blink of an eye a quarter year has flitted by us. time moves too fast. not that i feel aged - but sometimes i get the inkling that i've lost my edge, that the four years of toiling as a mundane corporate soldier has rendered me as plain as the next jane. i'm no longer nocturnal, a side of me i really miss. i'm less spontaneous. i'm fixed to a routine.

oh! but april's gonna be different. travelling will shake away the everyday insipidness that i so despise. i'm running out of the country for a grand total of three times. wheeeeeee!

popping into singapore very quickly for phantom of the opera next weekend with two best buddies. it's my first real phantom experience - and it'll be totally awesome! robarto (who introduced me to the lovely music of this play) - i'll be thinking of you!! hehe.

second week of april will see me going water-berserk in chiang mai - also a quick trip north to check out how truly crazy songkran festival is. i heard you get so wet so often, that it's no longer fun or funny. haha! we'll see. made a difficult decision - my dslr stays at home :( will be carrying a point and shoot idiot camera instead. ah well, all in the name of safety (grrr). picture taking will be frustrating but the plus point is this - for once, i can truly be travelling light!

the last week of april - the much anticipated trip to nepal. i burnt a deep hole in my pocket for this and it'll take me a good four to six months to repay my dad the cash, but i'm unfazed. it's nepal, and it'll be worth it. even though it's a packaged tour (and we all know how i feel about packaged tours). i haven't travelled with my parents in ages, so it'll be good quality time spent together.

so - that's how my april looks :) i promise pictures and travelogues, stories and rambling accounts!

took a quick peep out of the window - it's a beautiful rainy day! am off to enjoy it, i feel like feeding people today so am gonna be cookin for my bunch of friends.

signing off with love and peace.

posted by nyx at 10:59 AM | comments (9)

March 27, 2007

stream of unconscious

your already philosophical air
rubbing against the speed of the city
- michael ondaatje -

5.30pm brought the consolation of a day's end. i stepped out of the office slowly, wanting to savour the moment - only to be confronted with this city's manic tightness. almost too automatically, my thoughts turned to a familiar solace - travel. time to run away again.

beginning with this weekend - a much anticipated and too often postponed camping trip. i will have my 360 degree view of nothing but nature, a few good books and plenty of time to contemplate the erratic flight patterns of damsel flies. i will screamsing to my heart's content, brood my future over the crackling of campfire and perhaps come back a person filled with words.

for i miss writing poetry.

posted by nyx at 6:34 PM | comments (5)

March 18, 2007

a mouthful of irony

it's weird, this tug of war. the mind comes to a standstill, but the heart urges to write. of what? the desire to share dissipates almost too easily, of late.

i've been reading my archives, and i'm mildly unsatisfied by how i cannot articulate my thoughts like how i used to. i feel as though i've lost a vital side of myself. disconnected. perhaps that's why i'm filled with stagnant pools?

yet i'm pregnant with words.

posted by nyx at 9:26 PM | comments (3)

March 9, 2007

white rabbit candy

i had horribly black teeth as a kid. so much so, that when the exasperated dentist asked me "what colour should teeth be?", i nonchalantly answered him "black and white"

one day, as the four year old me was chewing these yummy white rabbit candies, i asked my mother and aunties, "why they put rabbit on this sweet wrapping ah? what has it got to do with rabbits?"

they toot-tooted me as if i should know better, and said "it's rabbit's milk what!"

shocked, my chewing stopped. aghast, my compassionate self stared at my aunts.

then my mum muttered under her breath "tsk tsk, poor mother rabbit, give milk to make sweets but not enough milk to feed her babies"

horrified, i imagined a somalia of baby rabbits - a sad population of skinny, starving, hollow looking skeletal baby rabbits with beady black eyes staring helplessly at their mother while she sends her milk off to some sweet factory.

from that second onwards, i stopped eating white rabbit candies. even after my aunts told me it wasn't made from rabbit's milk, that they were kidding around, even after they pointed the ingredients printed on the package out to me - i didn't believe. and i didn't eat them for quite a while. rabbits printed on the wrapper clearly meant to me, at that impressionable age, that they were part of the ingredient!!!!

of course, that belief eroded with age, but my love for those sweets remain. when i was back in kk for cny, i stole an entire packet just so i could have them all to myself. and as i was popping the candies one after another into my mouth, i was suddenly reminded of this little memory.

posted by nyx at 9:33 PM | comments (10)

February 27, 2007

compelled to update

i'm still acclimatizing from my recent trip home and haven't found my blog-groove yet. work is just-nice busy and not as frustrating-busy as i had expected. march is a long quiet month where my restless nomadic soul will be stuck in kuala lumpur till april. come april i'd be busy as a bee with a schedule as hectic as a social butterfly's - flying out of the country for a grand total of three times :D singapore for phantom of the opera and champagne buffet, chiang mai for songkran, and myanmar for wesak. it'll be a blast.

an unusual moment of focus descended upon me during lunch which resulted in The Six Things List, consisting of - exercise regularly, go for a full blood test, check my teeth, jump off a plane, learn a new musical instrument and spoil myself silly with an all-the-works spa treatment. reeling from the smugness of self accomplishment and wanting to fuel that buzz even more - i marched towards a mall near my office and signed up for a year's worth of yoga. i'm really looking forward to it! :)

(it didnt really happen that way - all i wanted to do was check out the rates, facilities and the vibe of the center. as soon as i stepped in however, i was welcomed by the aromatic blends of some essential oil burning sensously at all corners - a very lustrous combination that made me feel graceful and cozy all at once. i was sold. yes - senses persuades)

on another note, i stumbled onto Popagandhi and i must say it's one of the better blogs online. i haven't read such fine writing in a long long time and i'm totally enamoured. she's only 21, a chronic backpacker who loves every single nitty gritty bit of that lifestyle, shoots with a dslr and has an acute love for india and all places far flung. she writes and oh how she writes! i'm off to read her archives.

posted by nyx at 8:15 PM | comments (6)

February 25, 2007

before i left

i had time to contemplate the different greens on a single blade of grass

posted by nyx at 7:33 PM | comments (4)

February 24, 2007

a moment

i sit in my room. to my back - a small shelf of books. i am using my brother's laptop to connect to the internet, sitting on the very first computer desk my family ever purchased. the sound of a documentary on whales boom out of my ancient television - its contrast a little off. yellow lights flood my bed area. the curtain is drawn and beyond the window - a familiar sight of my twilight garden. i know that if i decide to mute the telly, the sound of cicadas will immediately fill the void.

i love my room in kk. and i have to leave it tomorrow.

posted by nyx at 9:17 PM | comments (1)

February 21, 2007

cny blurb

after fulfilling two days of compulsory filial activities, i spent every free time i had with my friends. we have named ourselves the Awesome Foursome :D binge eating, over drinking, driving around town familiarising ourselves with the place we used to call home (omg! we have starbucks! omg! we have delifrance?! omg! we have mng!!! what the!!!)

the idle hours alone were spent digging into piles and piles of old pictures and me scanning them. baby pictures, family travels (i've been to notre dame and have no recollection?!?), camping photos and - pictures of my parents dating. how precious is that.

:)

posted by nyx at 7:56 PM | comments (6)

February 20, 2007

*burp*

feeling bloated and fat :p

there is just too much food during chinese new year!!!

there, that's my short update :)

posted by nyx at 9:43 AM | comments (2)

February 18, 2007

the eve of chinese new year

the big family reunion dinner that all chinese have to have happens on the eve of chinese new year. we'd all go back to our paternal family, meet the extended family, and sit down for a big dinner. last year however, this little tradition changed for me as both my paternal grandparents have passed away. so my family went back to my maternal side for dinner.

for the first time, i was able to see what happens during the eve on my maternal side. before the big dinner, a smaller version of the dinner is laid out on the table before the Ancestor Altar. my maternal grandfather would burn two red candles, kneel and pray to them. then toss two coins on the floor to check whether their presence was amongst us. if the coins show one head and one tail - it means they are there and was about to enjoy the meal before them. subsequently, according to rank - each family member prays to our ancestors and burn three incense for them.

half an hour or so later, my grandfather would bring out the chinese new year "gifts" for them - paper clothes, some money, etc. he'd write their names on the clothes and we'd burn them in the yard. then he'd go back to the altar and "check" whether they have finished their chinese new year meal by consulting the coins again. when we are sure they have finished their meal, we adjourn outside to enjoy our family reunion dinner.

happy chinese new year everyone :) gong xi fa chai! have a great celebration/holiday. be safe and merry!

posted by nyx at 8:31 AM | comments (4)

February 15, 2007

all my bags are packed...

totally psyched about going back. i'm not sure why, but i've begun to look forward to chinese new year since december. pretty unusual because i normally am quite nonchalant about flying home. am anticipating beautiful sunsets, waking up to chirping birds, good food, a great night sky and above all - spending time doing absolutely nothing with my bunch of friends who make it a point to get together around this time of the year.

nine days to balance between family and friends, with a road trip thrown in - sleep will be scarce and the last thing on my mind. it'll be good to get away from work too - am all stressed out rushing to finish three person's job.

i'd still be updating from hometown, albeit shorter entries or me rambling my head off, so stick around :)

posted by nyx at 8:59 PM | comments (4)

February 6, 2007

one love

a tribute to bob marley on his birthday.

"emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
none but ourselves can free our minds”
- bob marley -

posted by nyx at 9:31 AM | comments (5)

January 22, 2007

rainforest world music festival 2007

the rainforest world music festival 2007 website is up! it's their 10th year anniversary, so their list of performers that are attending are super special. there's also various practical information like where to stay and how to get tickets - even how to volunteer. go take a look :)

music buffs must attend!

posted by nyx at 10:11 AM | comments (2)

January 17, 2007

the january ramble

half a month flew by in a snap of fingers and what have i achieved? i have yet to plan my travels - i'm being uncharacteristically patient. mostly because i'm waiting for airasia's next month announcement. my voracious appetite for books stepped up a notch and i've been buying so much that even for my standards it's crazy.

i've been feeling good - but restless for new experiences. this restlessness ripples to other facets of me - it shortens my attention span, and urges for a creative release. of which i have yet to find a way of expressing - be it musically, by prose or poetry. or something different. i'm leaning towards something different. this year will see the unfolding of myself - no more holding it all together, it's time my soul spreads itself open abundantly, in whatever way - let instincts take the lead.

we'll see how that works out :)

posted by nyx at 8:13 PM | comments (6)

January 11, 2007

of urges

today i craved to live in a sea-stilt hut - 360 degrees of the ocean in its varying shades of green and blue. they'd be huts scattered around, and one of them would be a cafe. i'd jump into my little sampan, make small splashes while i row my way there for an afternoon cuppa.

in the past year, i've had many of these urges. one of them was to ride on a rickety train, preferably open air (or sitting on the roof!). another was to live in a hut amongst emerald green padi fields, where i'd have to cycle along the crops to a grocery store (or something). then there was me wanting to live in a wooden boat and be lulled to sleep by sounds of water slapping against the deck.

*sigh*

posted by nyx at 9:39 PM | comments (0)

January 10, 2007

big omg moment

spurred by my frustrations with airasia's slow web, i went into mas' site to search for tickets. and just for the heck of it, i chose buenos aires. i selected some random dates and clicked the continue button.

nothing could've prepared me for what i was to see. it was simply SHOCKING.

nuff said. i leave you to ponder this staggering ticket.

posted by nyx at 11:23 PM | comments (11)

January 4, 2007

ashes

i've forgotten how to blog

how ah?

leave a topic in the comment, and i'll wax lyrical, deal?

be bizarre.

posted by nyx at 4:54 PM | comments (6)

December 22, 2006

that compulsory december post

how did a year pass by so quickly? it was an odd year for me - i struggled with my career, made some dreams come true, took a step back when i should've trudged on. i read difficult books and redefined my stance on sensitive issues. i lost some faith, gave in to a certain darkness, tested my resilience.

next year will be different, and better.

re-reading my old entries - this is one narcissistic delight that all bloggers share. my favourite 2006 entries are:

• cambodia, cambodia
  
• fireflies at kuala selangor
  
• a greedy dilemma
  
• restored
  
• rainforest world music festival - feel the love
  
• spooky noises in my room
  
• in the name of the thorny fruit
  
• i write, i write and i write
  
• sunday soliloquy
  
• why packaged tours is a bad word
  
• broga : i want this to be heard
  
• temple demolition : i want this to be heard part 2
  
• is this how you care for sipadan?
  
• kongsi raya is blasphemy?
  
• coliseum : what we can do about it
  

posted by nyx at 12:05 PM | comments (6)

December 11, 2006

empty

i'm feeling empty because there are two holidays coming up (xmas and new year) and i'm not travelling anywhere. very tempted to take unpaid leave for the entire stretch and fly out of asia, somewhere really far. but that's not gonna happen.

i guess travel fills something up.

that, or monday blues is talking through my mouth.

posted by nyx at 10:05 AM | comments (0)

December 4, 2006

express update

got a new puter in the office - core 2 duo goodness. bought nothing in pc fair. logitech is having 25% sales off their products. am due in melaka when payless is having their warehouse sales. it's december! before you know it chestnuts will be roasting on an open fire. i know i know - i havent published my hanoi travelogue. omg time to make plans for christmas and new year! i feel like taking a long extended leave but i've used up all my days. a train ride would be great during xmas - to nowhere. i'm going series-crazy! finished prison break, alias and now on to grey's anatomy second season.

its december. time to comtemplate the year. more of those kinda posts comin up.

2007, time to make more dreams come true.

posted by nyx at 11:00 AM | comments (2)

November 27, 2006

for the want of a bigger picture

part of the reason why this place is stagnant is because i feel that my daily life is too trivial to be journaled. i want to articulate something deeper, spin something larger. i want to philosophise, weave the abstract, strike the poignant.

but i haven't figured out how to realise all that. more accurately - i haven't made the effort to sit and ponder. there lies my fault, not setting aside any time to shape eatingchaos.

after the weekend splurge i abandoned the book i was rereading (Gods of Eden by william bramley - third reading!) for The Elegant Universe. reading about science always gives me a sense of wonderment. like a child sitting by a cottage window amongst crackling fireplace staring out into the winter night in awe of nature's forces. i am enjoying all that but i almost never finish science books - am hoping this one would be different.

hope monday was docile.

posted by nyx at 8:31 PM | comments (4)

November 19, 2006

brb-ing

my blog is heavy with stagnant chi!

posted by nyx at 10:40 PM | comments (0)

November 14, 2006

a week of silence

couldn't blog for a week because my backend was corrupted and i didn't have time to fix it till yesterday. its been a crazy week - didnt have time for lunch, worked my ass off for the company trip, weekend was a 6am to 12 midnight affair for me and on top of all that i had four birthdays to deal with.

this weekend aint too great too - working on sat :(

anyway - this is just to say, i'm around and i'm hoping to blog more.

posted by nyx at 7:16 AM | comments (4)

November 5, 2006

sunday

we didnt make it down to melaka - some things came up plus i'm not feeling all that well. been battling fever since i came back. tried to work on the travelogue - it's moving slower than i'd like it to but at least there is progress.

also pending is the upgrade of movable type on eatingchaos and reinstating thisguy's domain.

right now tho, i'm going to down a large mug of orange juice and read something to sleep.

posted by nyx at 9:03 PM | comments (0)

November 3, 2006

feverish friday night ramble

this week was a frantic juggle between work, tending to my feverish self and outlining the travelogue. thought i'd have this weekend to work on the latter - but i have to dash down to melaka for a birthday bash. which is great because i'm craving for that little sanctuary of mine.

i've used up all my annual leaves, so no more travelling for me till next year :( i'm quite happy though, with the way i stretched them to realised three dreams - cambodia, rainforest world music festical and vietnam.

next year - the rest of indo-china. then i'll think about tackling the three giants - china, india, europe. kiwi land beckons too.

enough travel talk. good weekend y'all :)

posted by nyx at 8:05 PM | comments (1)

October 17, 2006

conquer a phobia? - ticked

so i donated blood today. first time in my life. am phobic - it's not that i can't stomach blood, but more because i had a bad experience when i was 10.

a whole bunch of us went together, colleagues. all of them were first timers, and we promised to hold each other's hands (hehe). the process was simple - fill up some forms, que up to test the blood, check the bp then lie down for the draining to begin.

the donation itself was almost painless. i had no after effects - no green face no dizziness. i didnt feel any different (and i was quite surprised because i hardly took lunch or breakfast - me bad!). the prick didn't hurt at all. most painful part was testing blood - when the guy clipped the tip of my third finger and left a purple bruise, it's still sore right now.

all in all, i feel really good about donating and i am damn proud of finally conquering that stupid phobia.

:D

p/s: i even got a nice lil certificate and a red donor's passbook!

posted by nyx at 7:26 AM | comments (0)

October 14, 2006

the compulsory update

blogging is a funny habit - when i do it regularly it's easy for me to sit and write. when i dont - it gets weird and writing doesnt come naturally anymore.

like today - i saw that my last entry was five days ago. not good. i want it more regularly.

my itunes playlists is gone :( i have to rebuild everything, and i have massive amount of music, gonna be a pain doing them up. speaking of which, i need some new music in my life!

later.

posted by nyx at 4:22 PM | comments (0)

October 10, 2006

endangered frogs

it's not easy being green!
-kermit-

two articles saddened me for a solid week - national geograpic's Farewell to Frogs? and Newsweek's Global Warming's First Victim, both covering the extinction of my precious little froggies.

the beautiful harlequin frogs (described aptly as tropical easter eggs because they are as colourful as jewels in the forest), the blue-sided tree frog (which i think kermit is fashioned after), the big eyed lemur frog (the most curious frog of all) are all critically endangered. a mass extinction is happening, which is an indication of the advanced corruption of our ecology's health.

:(

i'm gonna read up and write a proper frog article.

posted by nyx at 11:47 PM | comments (0)

October 9, 2006

data recovery - successful!

just a quick note to say i've recovered most of my data. i'd even venture to say it was a 100% recovery. so if in the future you lose your data be it because of formatting or accidental deletion, try out this software - Active@UNDELETE because it rawks.

i was trying data recovery programs all week long, so far i've tested at least 7 different types (each takes about 2 days for full scan of 120 gigs) and this software gives me what i want - it recovers not only my files, but also my filenames and the directory structure.

happy monday!

posted by nyx at 10:15 AM | comments (0)

October 7, 2006

mindless sat rambling

i've always wanted to be a redhead, haha - so i streaked my hair today. dark rusty red. am loving it! cost a bomb but damn it, if i have to look at myself in the mirror everyday i might as well be looking damn good no?

worked today (eh, am blogging about work again?!?!). for a saturday i was considerably busy. when things calmed down i spent time looking at the motor department guys disassembling the car we have on display at our office. highly entertaining. i was the only girl watching, tried to help by passing the screwdrivers and what nots to them, but was mostly just observing. had no clue how heavy an engine can be till i saw 12 guys trying to haul it up....whoa.

oh! am senior editor at mankindnews.com. :D

vietnam is two weeks away and i still havent done the necessaries, like book a room for first night (reaching town at 10pm - too late to be hunting for accomodation), read up its history, change some currency etc etc.

music - india arie and amos lee have new albums out. i have to remind myself to download them. haha. also, am listening to corinne bailey rae - great stuff! made me pick up the guitar. made me crave to have piano keys beneath my fingers. made me miss singing.

anyway, happy weekend all :)

posted by nyx at 7:02 PM

October 4, 2006

point form update

flustered at work! a quick update here just to get my blogfix:

• i am so fed up of doing support work in office (help me psycho!!), i've been given two tasks that i hate - support and procurement, grrrr
  
• i just broke a personal rule - i blogged about work
  
• office has karaoke competition and i'm singing, haha
  
• am tempted to colour my hair dark rusty red
  
• am also tempted to get a dell xps notebook, pfft. the best part is, i dont even need one!
  
• apart from theCICAK, i'm also contributing/editing at Mankind News
  
• i've written two articles in the latter, very quick ones just to test the waters - Random Thoughts on How We Can Do More and Turtle Conservation in Malaysia
  
• i won't blog about work again :(
  
• can't wait for vietnam, 17 more days!
  
• that's all, back to work :(
  

posted by nyx at 10:30 AM | comments (0)

October 2, 2006

weird alertness

friday till sunday, i think i slept only about five hours. i feel weird - as in, i dont feel sleepy or tired. i am alert and clear headed, i dont even crave sleep. i gave myself eight hours sleep today, yet i woke up two hours earlier. my mind didnt feel rested at all.

i feel as if i'm high on consciousness, if that's possible, lol. let's see when i crash.

posted by nyx at 10:18 AM | comments (0)

October 1, 2006

quick update

two quick updates. firstly, and most importantly - my trip to vietnam is confirmed :) 9 days of that gorgeous eastern paris, i can't wait. it's a dream of mine.

second update - i spent the weekend nursing my pc. reformatted it, reinstalled windows, upgraded rams, popped in a new dvd writer. good as new. except that my audio will suddenly stop and i have to replug in the jack, i wonder why. ah well.

i did something awfully stupid - as i was formatting the pc, my external drive which had all my backup was plugged in, and it got reformatted as well :(

a quick trip to lowyat to buy some data recovery software and here i am crossing my fingers hoping for at least 80% recovery.

slept only 3 hours! *pulls hair out*

posted by nyx at 8:45 PM | comments (0)

September 26, 2006

family dinner

had a family dinner yesternight. i brought them to cafe cafe - always wanted to bring them there. the area surrounding this fine dining restaurant is dodgy. the parking, walking towards the entrance - quite a slummy experience. at that point in time you'd have a big question mark on this place and "fine dining". however, you're in for a pleasant surprise. the waiters greet you at the door with a warm smile and you get an inkling of cafe cafe's character.

inside it is cozy, warm, dark. the ambience oozes with easy parisian charm. the interior is decorated cabaret style - like moulin rouge but with blunted glamour. though it is a fine dining restaurant, cafe cafe is anything but snobbish. the waiters get five thumbs up from me - they flutter around you with good efficient service yet remain properly in the background. mastered the art of balancing between being invisible and present.

the food is always excellent. no holding back on quality, they take that extra mile to give you that extra flavour. my parents were delighted, even my brother (fussy as he is) gave his highest compliment - "i got no complains"

here's something i wrote about cafe cafe last year - cafe cafe's chocolate mousse and hot buns.

posted by nyx at 9:35 AM | comments (0)

September 23, 2006

music to compensate

sorry for the lack of updates, am still feeling disconnected and slightly reckless.

to compensate - here's some really groovy lounge music that i've been listening to a lot. if you have itunes, download the streaming playlist here, otherwise pop into SomaFM and download the plugins for Groove Salad.

really awesome stuff, if only my ipod can receive radio i'd be plugged in to this all day long.

p/s: ack! they've got an even cooler banner for me to link. here it is!

posted by nyx at 12:06 PM

September 16, 2006

saturday so far

popped into times warehouse sales and picked up several books - nothing great. i was out of there under two hours. bought two dilbert comics, arundhati roy's the cost of living, susan sontag's i etcetera, vs naipaul's literary occasions and herman melville's typee.

parents just came back from istanbul. i woke up to turkish delights and a delicious cup of hot apple tea! they regaled me with their tales and i'm utterly captivated. so istanbul - a definite must go for me now.

am off. apple tea rocks by the way.

posted by nyx at 3:08 PM | comments (0)

September 10, 2006

disconnected

i'm feeling disconnected.

saturday - payless warehouse sales. left the building with only one book (carl sagan's contact). disappointing.

sunday - popular book sales. much better selection - still, i left with only three books. two marguerite duras and one poetry book by chitra banerjee divakaruni (i heart her) for 70%.

nothing beats penguin warehouse sales. times warehouse sales is up there too.

watched my super ex-girlfriend and it was hillarious!!!!!!

that's all.

posted by nyx at 9:27 PM | comments (0)

August 27, 2006

sunday soliloquy

i've got 20 minutes to spare before my ride arrives. this week is all of a sudden reunion week - old college mates meeting up somewhere near where we used to study (took us quite a while to name all our classmates), ex-housemates getting together twice this week to accomodate each other's schedules (we still roar our laughters like screaming banshees) and my bestest girl buddy is in town tomorrow.

all this so good for the heart.

the topic of the day among my housemates was career. we all itched to change jobs. we need new environments to stimulate our brains. we want to test our worth elsewhere. we owe it to ourselves to challenge our comfort zones and prove that we can be just as good in another company.

i probed their real reason to leave - and it all boils down to dissatisfaction caused by one sole person in their company. was it just last week that i read in one of them chain emails, that bad bosses happen to good people.

anyway. it's sunday, enough work talk. i've got something more bleak to share. updated my must read section with another article - The compromise one cannot make by Malik Imtiaz, the lawyer defending Lina Joy and the current president of HAKAM who has recently been receiving death threats because of his involvement in the Lina Joy case.

read it. he voices the fears i have for this country that i love so much. it is for the reasons that he has stated in that article that makes me mourn instead of celebrate the coming merdeka. because after 49 years of independance - we have regressed and not matured.

anyway. bleak topics aside, am looking forward to my upcoming trip to perhentian. five days of nothing but the sun and the sea and little fishes kissing me. much needed. this city's tightness constricts my heart.

off to watch snakes on a plane and mistress of spices before meeting up with the girls for another noisy cackling session! good sunday y'all.

p/s: forgot to share a sipadan article in nst.

posted by nyx at 12:03 PM

August 24, 2006

i write, i write and i write

i wasn't lying when i said i write as often as i could.

i've kept journals, spread myself across several blogs, carried notebooks around with me, scribbled poems, haikus, thoughts. it wasn't until reading that one line on my cv - "i write whenever i can" that i realised how natural it was for me to write, or how frequently i turned to it.

i need to write. my insides get tight when i don't. it is essential for my wellbeing, this outlet, and as weird as it sounds - i write to remind myself of who i am.

lately i haven't been honest with my writing - it hasn't been real enough. i've been hiding behind veils and my true voice lost as a result. i'm writing for an audience but not myself.

usually when this happens, this constriction, this self censorship, this unwanted awareness - i change blogs. i find new playgrounds to lay my words, new spaces to flow in. but this time round it's a little different - i have my own domain, and have ran away too many times to keep doing it.

so here i shall remain, keeping it real.

posted by nyx at 11:35 PM

August 23, 2006

my mind is blank

my mind is blank, but i want to write. am craving poetry - has it been years since i last crafted a verse? that's too long, do i still know how to? lunch hour saw me rushing to a secondhand bookstore where the lady boss and i are on first name basis. she gave me a treat - brought me to her private library collection for a browse. my heart shivered, my jaw dropped all the way down to tasmania, my eyes desert dry as i didn't blink lest the sight before me vanishes. truly a rare honour. and here i am back in the humdrum office taking five minutes break to blog.

posted by nyx at 4:48 PM | comments (0)

August 20, 2006

puteri gunung ledang the musical

every now and then the local arts scene throws a curveball that makes us sit back and say - wow, if we truly put effort into using our brains collectively we could actually create something exceptional. and that, is what puteri gunung ledang the musical did.

the musical has many things going for it:

• creative stage props
  the stairs that became cliffs that became walls that became doors that became gunung ledang. the expansive white cloth that became the sea that became mist that became the waterfall.
  
• exquisite dance choreography
  the seductive swaying of javanese womenfolk, the menfolk with their silat steps, the kingly stances of adipati, the sensual fluidity of datin tiara's hand gestures and the obvious hindu influences in the postures that made the musical such a charm to watch
  
• good costume
  the sarong was used tastefully. i would've bought it if they sold as merchandise!
  
• light play
  liked the water reflection effect during hang tuah and gustri puteri's initial courtship, and the last scene where she awaited him from dawn to dusk. however, i felt that some of the effects were too distracting. still - good effort.
  

• scene continuity
  
  the scenes melt into the next without pause, i thought it was ingenious.
  
  
• well developed characters
  
  the fierceness of the majapahit king, his funny advisor, the protective nanny, the forlorn princess. all well played out.
  
  
• script
  
  how long has it been since i heard how poetic and soft the malay language can be. utterly pleasurable to be reminded of its finer nuances.
  
  

roll all that together and you get a world class play made in malaysia by malaysians. there were two acts - one in majapahit and the other in melaka. i felt that the first act was more well thought out and better developed than the second act. the role of the witch is one that could've been more original, slightly disappointed there.

but all in all an absolute delight to watch - i had goosebumps in some scenes and really felt the play. the musical ends tomorrow, quick! grab a ticket and go watch!

posted by nyx at 1:52 PM

August 17, 2006

bitterness

bitterness is an invisible snake gliding swift among our angry words and though i held onto its tail the head whipped out and found its deadly mark

posted by nyx at 8:52 AM | comments (0)

August 13, 2006

little time on earth

every moment you hate, you stop loving

posted by nyx at 2:30 PM | comments (0)

August 8, 2006

a moment of silence

observing a moment of silence for myanmar. 8th of august 1988 was a calamitous date for them - a national uproar demanding for democracy resulting in massacre. the events also lead aung san suu kyi down the path of politics.

this is in remembrance of that day. her struggle, is ours.

posted by nyx at 9:06 PM | comments (0)

August 1, 2006

spooky noises in my room

was it just last month that i wrote about weird sounds? well guess what, last night saw my room emitting more noises! eerie ones this time round!

i was sound asleep when among the darkness that is 3am, i awoke to the sounds of my guitar being strummed lightly.

well. it was more of a brush. a light downward strum. loud enough to stir me from my slumber.

i woke up. looked at the time. closed my eyes. tried to sleep. then the coin dropped - hello! a guitar can't play itself! and this particular one is standing lonely by a corner, nothing is near it. not a towel, not the blanket, not even the curtain. what on earth could have stirred it?

i tried to fall back to sleep, but my thoughts were ominous. what if the guitar "sang" again. what if it levitated and violently came crashing down on my floor. who should i call first. why did i latch my apartment door so tightly - every lock prolongs my escape.

gripped myself and decided not to let it scare me (i was all alone at home). i sat up, confronted the guitar by staring at it, then tried very hard to feel safe again in slumber's dark arms.

6am. i woke up thinking it was seven. jumped out of bed cursing that i may be late - and glanced at the guitar. my pillow (i sleep surrounded by pillows) was beside it. i must've accidentally kicked it off the bed. and that must've caused the stupid sound. pffft. silently berated myself for being so silly. 'twas still early - decided to nap for another thirty minutes.

closed my eyes. was just at the delicious brink of consciousness when - i heard my guitar strum itself again.

i sat up. snapped a mean look at it. frowned. nothing was near it! not a pillow, not the curtain, not a book. not even a paper. nothing. zilch. nada. ilek.

annoyed - i repositioned the guitar and fell back into bed, was determined not to be silly about it. yet lingering in the realm of my thoughts - the fact that the mystery is unsolved....

let's see what happens tonight (am still all alone at home!)

posted by nyx at 9:01 PM | comments (0)

July 21, 2006

friday morning rambles

frazzled from work i took the monorail home and saw two elderlies struggling in the crowd that reminded me of my grandparents. gave them a call and listened to my grandma's long winded stories. she ended the call with a line - "we cant take anything to the next life, for life is but a dream."

strangely comforting.

update on the mishap in sipadan - there are efforts now the replant the corals. read all about it here.

running to melaka again this weekend :) looking forward - i need a break from this congested metropolitan.

oh no, i'm gonna be late for work! btw - my last post is an example of subliminal advertising. things that your eyes miss but your brain catches. these embeds are placed in tv adverts, magazine adverts, billboards, etc. even disney cartoons. and its perhaps the reason why advertising costs a bomb - because there are intentional mass programming hidden within the graphics.

look at the picture again. look at the lower portion. look at the reverse - the white space instead of the flowers.

yeah, not so innocent after all. now you can google "subliminal advertising" :)

posted by nyx at 7:23 AM | comments (0)

July 17, 2006

monday blues

it's monday and i'm sitting in the office staring at airasia's site. i'm itching to run away. melaka this weekend, perhentian for a few days, womad at spore, vietnam london burma laos bali south america wherever.

anywhere away from this insipidness.

posted by nyx at 10:08 AM | comments (0)

July 15, 2006

eatingchaos down + rwmf pictures

eatingchaos was down for an hour - apologies. i was backing the site up :)

good news - rainforest world music festival's official site has updated its gallery to include this year's photos! go check them out.

posted by nyx at 11:01 AM | comments (0)

July 1, 2006

more saturday rambles

oh my god it's already july!! what have i done this year? what have i done this year?!?!

i'm freaking out because i have nothing else better to do in the office :) hehe, yes, as i've mentioned before - it's absolutely pointless to work on saturdays.

i'm dead sleepy - stayed up to catch that upsetting match between germany and argentina, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

meeting up the gang later for superman. maybe convince them to go melaka next weekend :D

good news - airasia advertised in the papers yesterday that they are flying straight to hanoi beginning august. fantabulous! i was planning to go north vietnam during hari raya/deepavali break. the cheapest tickets i could find was mas - rm1400. ridiculous amount, pffft. airasia to the rescue, opened the route just in time for me :)

bought a new book yesterday - the synopsis is irresistable!

"Yambo, a sixtyish rare-book dealer in Milan, has suffered a loss of memory - he can remember the plot of every book he has ever read, every line of poetry, but he no longer knows his own name, doesn't recognize his wife or his daughters, and remembers nothing about his parents or his childhood. "

i absolutely had to get it! hehe. book is by umberto eco, named The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana. first line reads "And what's your name? Wait, it's on the tip of my tongue." (i wrote about my obsession for first lines here)

i'm looking at my blog thinking it's high time i changed the skins and updated the categories. oh well. another time, hehe.

two more hours to go!

posted by nyx at 10:42 AM | comments (4)

June 28, 2006

................

who else is having world cup withdrawal symptoms?

posted by nyx at 7:43 PM | comments (1)

June 27, 2006

rambles

i sit down here thinking "i want to blog" without even a topic in mind, or thought. a habitual creature in motion.

i shall ramble on.

anticipating the germany vs argentina match as if it were the finals. i'm all for the pale blue and whites, yet i can't bear to watch germany lose in their home ground!

interesting trivia in the book i'm currently reading - museum's root word is Muse. it is given its name because the museum exhibits inspiring work by artists that are "touched by the Muse" so to speak :)

another book is perhaps on its way to malaysia's list of banned books because it contains the words "chin peng". 20 copies of faces of courage by sybil kathigasu was confiscated, read the first hand account here.

i usually bite my tongue on this blog when it comes to local news - it is a huge can of worms and once i start, this blog might just become my ranting ground for the frustrating daily stupidity on the papers.

BUT

check this out - if you're a muslim preacher in kelantan, you're only a marriage away from RM10,000, free accomodation, RM1000 monthly allowance and 4WD car! whoppee!

p/s: while we're on the topic of local news - i am mourning for baby jumbo :`(
this entire piece stinks of cover-up.

posted by nyx at 8:02 PM | comments (0)

June 26, 2006

if

if everyone of us lived our lives to its maximum potential, how different would this world be?

posted by nyx at 6:48 PM | comments (6)

June 22, 2006

weird sounds

several mornings ago i woke up at dawn to a weird sound - a recurring "silent whipping" noise. at first i thought it was pigeons outside my window fluffing their feathers. i tossed and turned away, then realised that the sound originated in my room.

i stood up and walked towards the source - beneath my bookshelves. i have absolutely no idea what the sound was, if you told me it was a mini space ship landing i would've believed you.

eyes still heavy with sleep, i shuffled outside and beckoned my mum in. our conversation went something like this :

me: ma, come eh, got weird sound in my room la
we walked as quietly as possible into my room
me: there! can hear or not? (whispering)
mum: hmm...
mum puts her ear closer to my shelf and keeps peering into hidden spots
me: what is that oh? so weird wan?
mum: oh.... lizard bah
me: lizard?! lizard where got like that wan?!
mum: lizard mating bah
me: oh....

well at least someone/thing in my room is getting some action!!!!

posted by nyx at 9:42 PM | comments (6)

June 17, 2006

saturday rambles

it's absolutely pointless to work on saturdays, look what i'm doing at work - blogging.

making my way to melaka after work, totally looking forward to it. i miss that town. more specifically - i miss how that town makes me feel. melaka and football with beer plus close friends, can't think of a more pleasurable way to while my weekend away.

i sometimes read what i wrote last year before composing my thoughts. narcissistic? the entire blogging culture is built on it. bloggers are the 21st century version of narcissus, staring into the mirrors of our archives. i however, like to think of it as reflecting on my past to see how much i have travelled within.

last year today, i made stamps :)

i really oughta rework eatingchaos. the blog needs new skins, and better categories. also a streaming radio.

my sweet dad gave me spending money as birthday present. what did his daughter do?

read more »

posted by nyx at 9:36 AM | comments (1)

June 15, 2006

what sense is there in this

posted by nyx at 7:22 AM | comments (1)

June 2, 2006

time for another blurb

my recent book splurge is worrying - six books in 2 days :p out of which two are poetry, so not really counted as "books" since i dont read poetry from front to back, but flip and immerse whenever the mood descends.

going away for the weekend - overnight trip to pantai remis, a quiet fishing village in perak. packing loads of books, and a hearty appetite - gonna enjoy the humdrum pace of life there. it's chinese dumpling festival as well.

speaking of chinese dumplings, my grandparents squabbled yesterday during a family gathering. my parents were due back today, and grandpa wanted them to bring some dumplings to me. grandma insisted they brought me hers instead because she handpicked the best out of the lot. out of this, arguments ensued. i'm touched, but was the quarrel necessary?

mum told me that dad has been promoting my siem reap travelogue to his friends :) a sign that he is proud of me - an achievement i take to heart for my dad is a hard man to please.

speaking of men who are hard to please, i'm unofficially receiving "training" in basic malaysian law, and also psychiatric treatments in form of rhymes. *grin*

my current array of reads are weird - origins of jesus, masonic symbology, conspiracy theories, elite cults, reptilian agendas, possible alien invasion evidence in the bible, mass control, embeds in advertisement and so on. i go where curiousity takes me.

also - local current affairs. disturbing trends unfolding. islamization of malaysia, brutal conduct of fru, police blackmailing the goverment, hindu temples being demolished, ministers who don't exercise intelligence and most worrying of all - media blackout of all the above rendering us, ordinary citizens, blind. malaysia is fast approaching fascism.

my eyes once cloaked with ignorance, is slowly opening.

posted by nyx at 12:07 AM | comments (6)

May 29, 2006

good news, bad news

good news first - borobudur (largest buddhist monument on earth located in central java) is unaffected by the quake.

bad news - prambanan (largest hindu temple in indonesia) is :(

Prambanan before the quake

this UNESCO Heritage Site, a beautiful landscape made out of more than 250 candis and shrines was damaged during the recent quake. prambanan has three main candis called Trisakti, each dedicated to the trimurti - Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. the Brahma Temple was named among the affected temples.

such a pity as temples dedicated to Lord Brahma is scarce to be found. this can be explained through a legend - Brahma the Creator, once made a beautiful female called Shatarupa. so captivated was he by her form that wherever Shatarupa went, Brahma developed a head to keep constant gaze at her. it was this way that Brahma gained five heads - four at each cardinal direction and the fifth on top. Shiva the Destroyer, infuriated that Brahma has incestuous feelings (because Brahma created her, he was seen as her father), slain the head on top and cursed that no one will ever worship the unholy Creator. thus, from that day onwards, no one venerated Brahma.

speaking of legends - the creation of prambanan is an interesting one. King Boko's daughter, in an attempt to evade marriage with Prince Bandung, told him that she will wed him only if he is able to build a thousand temples in a single night. he fervently created 999 temples with the help of spirits. the javanese princess was dismayed that he might succeed, so she lit a fire in the east. thinking it was dawn, the roosters crowed. the prince was furious with her deception. in a moment of anger he changed her into a stone. today, the statue of this cunning princess is one of the most beautiful statues to be found in prambanan.

the temple is closed to public as the conservation agency is accessing the damaged afflicted by the wrath of the earth. it doesn't look too badly damaged, let's hope that with careful preservation and restoration, the temple will be doctored back to its former glory.

Prambanan after the quake, pictures courtesy of detik.com

sigh - and i was planning a trip to borobudur + prambanan in august!

posted by nyx at 10:41 AM | comments (11)

May 26, 2006

must-update-blog blurb

it's finally friday! what a painfully slow week. haven't updated in a while. writing is a lot like inertia - if you keep doing it, it gets easier and easier to articulate your thoughts, if you stop - you lose sense of where to start or what to write.

but what is important, is to always begin.

my feet is itchy again, i'm yearning for strange sights and unfamiliar people.

oops, now i'm late for work!

posted by nyx at 7:14 AM | comments (0)

May 7, 2006

sunday night rambles

my skin is the colour of burnt orange. lovely shade for a tan :) a cambodian tan, giggles. i'm actually still happy from the trip, it was that good.

just came back from penang. i took over the wheel from brother on the way up and enjoyed the drive thoroughly. it was so scenic! mountains with lush forests, the occasional distant waterfall. yards and yards of palm trees, their absolute deep dark green. and my favourite - endless stretch of padi fields. lovely.

now i'm thinking of next weekend, hmm.

posted by nyx at 9:49 PM | comments (0)

May 6, 2006

sat morn rambles

reading aung san suu kyi's letters and am deeply moved by her grace and will. the lady is eloquent. i wonder how many of us will fare as well as she does under such tenacious circumstances, and remain as dignified and forgiving. she is one true lotus.

suu and bono are my role models.

popping down to penang this weekend, i look forward to quiet reads in noisy cafes. and maybe acquiring more books.

i have absolutely no more space in my shelf tho.

as if that ever stopped me.

posted by nyx at 9:41 AM | comments (1)

May 5, 2006

weird yuppie urge

been working hard on the travelogue - but i feel like doing it outdoors instead of caged up in my room.

urge - cafes.

urge - notebook.

willing to pay for the former but lacking the latter. even thought of travelling to melaka to do it, but there's no wifi at jonker street, i think. ah well. :)

it's a weird urge.

posted by nyx at 11:23 AM | comments (1)

April 24, 2006

cravings

i'm craving for strong lethal coffee - one full of edges, bitter. dark black even with cream and frothy only at the sidewalls of the cup. aroma tinged with poison.

i dont know how my cravings got so specific. i almost only consume nescafe :)

i'm craving for new music. something raw that grates at my heart. something unapologetically honest.

i am longing for an all consuming (good) experience.

posted by nyx at 9:43 PM | comments (3)

April 14, 2006

conversation between siblings

i (nyx) who is in kl, was talking to my brother (SeVeN) who is in kk, and part of our conversation went like this:

nyx says:
where are you oh
SeVeN says:
ur room
nyx says:
woo hoooo
say hi to my bookshelffff
SeVeN says:
its covered in plastic
nyx says:
still can say hi wotttttt
SeVeN says:
already
i feel stupid doing that
nyx says:
HAHAHAHA
SeVeN says:
shit u
nyx says:
i mean, tq
hehehe

posted by nyx at 12:10 AM | comments (2)

April 11, 2006

father daughter ritual

some mornings after we've dressed ourselves for the office, dad with a smug smile would pop this question, "how, nice or not?"

he'd open his arms and present himself, and i'll give him the 'thoughtful lookover' expression. my standard answer - "niceeeeeeeee"

the next question would be, "my tie matching or not?" (his smug smile grows smugger)

i'd go "matchinggggggggg"

then i'd guess what bit of the tie matches with his attire. sometimes it can be the pattern, most times the colour. or even texture. could well be matching with his socks too.

but i like this game best, when my answer to his "why nice?" question, is "because your good daughter buy for you wan lahhhh"

giggles.

rides to the office with dad is usually a quiet affair. sometimes we'd talk, or joke. but mostly we'd be immersed in our own thoughts (or me in a book). this silence, is like the gathering of strengths and quiet confidences, and i love that i share this with my father.

posted by nyx at 11:52 AM | comments (4)

April 7, 2006

lunch hour

weaved myself among the friday crowd and slid onto the only available table at dome. spread murakami open and dipped into his absorbing literary spell.

i wasn't the only single female lunching with a book. when i looked up - i noticed that the table beside me was also a girl nose deep in a book. fleeting thought - maybe i should approach her and strike up a conversation. who knows what i'll learn.

abandoned the idea and continued watching the cafe crowd. far left, another solo lady, thick book, grey cover.

both were tourists, travellers. i tried to peek at the titles, but saw none.

posted by nyx at 8:18 PM | comments (0)

April 5, 2006

a quote

"god offered us truth. satan organised religion."

was browsing through patrick teoh's blog when i came across that quote. my first reaction was that the quote struck a chord, for if one considers how many people were killed in the name of religion, one would feel that the quote has more than mere inklings of truth. religion perhaps, has killed more people than anything else in the world.

my second reaction was to question this - that if he did, what is the truth god offered.

posted by nyx at 10:56 PM | comments (3)

April 3, 2006

mondayness

steaming cup of strong coffee to chase the trace of sleep away.

i am munching on a small portion of chocolate cereal. i love the crispy melody, the hard crunch on my teeth, the sweet pulp it becomes before i swallow.

dreamt of office, dreamt of lost cards, dreamt of a boat with cargo that sunk and how my colleagues and i swam through the dirty stream to get back to office.

slept thinking about strong arms.

i want to dress like a wild gypsy who talks the crazy talk with winds.

posted by nyx at 10:38 PM | comments (0)

March 17, 2006

book quotes

mum placed a small newspaper clip on my table as she left my room. written on it, are book quotes! :D

the man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
- mark twain

i would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves
- anna quindlen, 'enough bookshelves', new york times, aug 7, 1991

posted by nyx at 8:38 AM | comments (0)

March 14, 2006

solo lunches

solo lunches are like small capsules of isolation, mini pauses. funny what it can do to one's spirit - i feel renewed, and centred.

sat at a streetside cafe reading, ate some toast, had some iced mocha, people-watched, breathed. soaked up the heat of noon - i've had just about enough of the stifling air-conditioned office that pales and withers my soul.

i love the contrast of the two worlds that was present - my quiet absorbed self nose deep in a book, and the crowded bustling surroundings. sporadically alternating my consciousness between these two realities gave the cafe-dweller in me a deep sense of satisfaction.

after having drunk enough silence, i walked back under the midday's sun allowing my skin to absorb more warmth before i step into the dreariness that is my office.

posted by nyx at 7:25 PM | comments (0)

March 5, 2006

murakami

today i visited an apartment in my condo with my father. the reason for our visit - they were selling some second hand items that my dad wanted. we rang the bell, and walked in to a japanese family household.

i started thinking - what if this was murakami's vacation home in malaysia? :D what would i do if i came face to face with him.

i would - tell him how much i love his books, then invite him to my room so that i can take a picture of him beside my bookshelf.

:)

then, i would have him select his favourite book from my murakami collection to autograph.

and then, i would do this for ky - i would touch his hands.

*giggles*

posted by nyx at 8:38 PM | comments (3)

March 2, 2006

lunch time

daughter's sms : i bought two pants that is SO ME
mum's reply : that's the spirit!

giggles, the interaction i have with my parents is just way too cute for words.

went to collect my ic today at maju junction. on the way there - listened to staind singing outside, his bitterness is strangely invigorating.

joy in solitude - wind flirting with my skirt, sun kissing my skin.

collecting the card was a quick affair. bought lunch and walked around muching. saw cotton pants that thrilled me to bits - it's comfy, soft, and so me! i can envision myself stalking angkor wat in those pants :)

bought two, and headed back to office.

posted by nyx at 9:27 PM | comments (0)

February 8, 2006

mood

i want to dress like vengeance today

posted by nyx at 7:19 AM | comments (1)

February 6, 2006

arrived.

came out of the airport and this city's tightness crept into my heart

posted by nyx at 11:53 PM | comments (0)

February 5, 2006

heart flips

three nights ago we stayed at a backpacker's lodge and i talked to the owner and listened to his travel stories. after a healthy exchange of tales, he casually asked me "wanna venture around with me?" that made my heart jump because these are words i want to hear from a man's mouth

posted by nyx at 12:04 PM | comments (0)

January 17, 2006

turmoil

i want to screamsing and arouse you from your slumber - i want to get your attention

posted by nyx at 10:16 PM | comments (0)

January 7, 2006

head bowed down

i'm scarred, and the broken bones have not been set in their correct position but i'm healing.

if we dont do what we know is right because of pain and fear, because its easier to just be idle, that makes us cowards no? i see no resolution in my situation.

i need more grace than i thought, fallen further than possible, got darker than i wanted.

i dont feel like a good person anymore. my insides are seeking reasurrance - i need to know that i'm still capable of goodness. i need this confirmation from someone else - how ugly it is to live without such conviction within ourselves.

"emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind..."

posted by nyx at 11:17 PM | comments (1)

December 29, 2005

homeless man

we saw a homeless on the way back to the office. he burst out into unfathomable gestures - made me wonder what really goes on in his mentally altered universe, is it something really eccentric and perhaps, wonderful? is he trapped in some fantasy-like plot that he has translated to be his reality? do we all have similar timebombs within ourselves?

everyday - different questions march itself into my curious head like an army of ants.

posted by nyx at 8:26 PM | comments (0)

December 16, 2005

...

i want to sing my days away

posted by nyx at 8:45 AM | comments (2)

December 11, 2005

taking a little break to say.....

i'm playing diablo while listening to some christmas carols. it's weird - listening to carols with that soft joy joy feeling in your heart while slashing monsters gleefully.

i'm listening to both frank sinatra crooning about whether reindeers can fly AND the sounds of screeching demons (whom i'm inflicting pain on). i am singing "chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." while electrocuting mythical devils.

.....

ah well, back to eradicating evil, i've got a world to save :)

p/s: my brother CONSTANTLY amuses me. tonight he has moral issues with eating gingerbread men. as he sank his teeth into one, i started playing the xmas songs. he then paused, and felt that he shouldn't be eating gingerbread folks.

urh?

posted by nyx at 11:24 PM | comments (0)

December 10, 2005

shakespeare & co

i found my utopia. bibliobuli mentioned a bookstore in the city of france called shakespeare & co where, among the floor to ceiling shelves bursting with books spilling onto the floor, are beds! where, if you want to stay - he expects in return for you to make your bed, perhaps help out, and READ.

brilliant isn't it?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

totally bawled me over, i *have* to visit there. i found a site with a virtual tour of the shop and the place is even lovelier than i imagined.

screenshots!!


entrance

time stops, one can be totally encapsulated in the realm of books

a resident meow! what more can i ask for!

imagine waking up to this every morn!

ah bliss. also - a book written by someone who has lived there for five months. jeremy mercer's a paris sojourn at shakespeare & co. (am confused with this, and books, baguettes and bedbugs by the same author.)

posted by nyx at 10:24 AM | comments (0)

December 8, 2005

revisiting

how often your web of words have caught my fall.

bring me all your dreams,
you dreamers,
bring me all your
heart melodies
that i may wrap them
in a blue cloud-cloth
away from the too-rough fingers
of the world.
-the dreamkeeper by langston hughes-

posted by nyx at 12:04 AM | comments (6)

December 7, 2005

blank

my mind is empty.

i'm sitting down, looking at the clinically white screen trying to churn something up because i feel that i've neglected my blog and have not been honest enough with it.

as if my blog is a person. with feelings.

been booklusting. i want to booksplurge and bookbuy without caring whether i'd eventually read them or not. i want to feel bookfat - let bookglutton be my sin. i want to fill my room up till it's a bookforest, i want to be infested by them, i want bookdisease. i want death by books (haha, that just sounds cool).

in fact for christmas, i want a perfume that makes me smell like books.

GRIN

posted by nyx at 8:44 PM | comments (0)

giggles

how suggestive is this king dong kong old advertisement?

also, check this book out - or not, hehe :

posted by nyx at 8:04 PM | comments (0)

December 1, 2005

it's december!!!

time creeps up on you doesn't it? still feels very much like mid year to me, sigh. anyway - eatingchaos was down for one and a half days, bandwidth exceeded. someone really likes chaos radio and was listening too much of it, hehe. am thinking of taking chaos radio down, but decided instead to monitor and unplug it only when the bandwidth is going crazy again.

gotta work, later.</